I’ve associated myself with Jesus most of my life, yet is seems that despite the length of time I’ve “known” Jesus, I am still learning and re-learning what it means to follow Jesus. I struggle hard against the concept of not looking down the road, trying to decipher what lies beyond the fog. I would rather not watch each step, as I’m called to do. I don’t want there to be surprises and twists. I want to control my destiny, not embrace it.
In simply terms, I don’t like surprises.
Following Jesus is full of surprises. . .
I remember my father dropping dead after playing around the world when I was 13. Didn’t like that surprise.
I remember being on vacation the summer after dad died and getting the call from my mother that the doctor confirmed cancer (she didn’t go because she was feeling quite ill). I didn’t like that surprise.
Those two events so early in my adolescent years have left deep wounds. I admit it. Since then, I really don’t like surprises. But, here’s what’s sad. I struggle to trust Jesus despite the undeniable fact that he has always come through.
Now, I don’t mean to say that Jesus has made every bitter experience sweet like candy. No. I mean to say that someone his presence and fellowship made the bitterness more bearable. His own identification with our suffering and the promise of final redemption gave meaning to my suffering.
He walked with me down through the fog reminding me to watch his feet, and not to strain to see what can’t be seen. He reminded me that thought there’ fog ahead, the road with him, no matter hell or high water, is endurable. Jesus keeps reminding me that at the end of the road is glory, even though our experience until then may be gory.
I don’t like surprises. . .
But, I do trust Jesus. While I don’t always feel it, I do know that though the road ahead will be arduous, my traveling companion is more than able to bring me through.
So, take your eyes off the fog ahead. Trust He who walks one step ahead, align your steps with his. If you do so, you may experience too the awe that happens when you stop and reflect on the road you traveled. The experiences while remaining bitter and leaving scars have a Peace about them. . .
It was Jesus.
*Image from public domain